happiness?

i sometimes question the fact of if i'm really happy with where i am in life at this moment.sure i laugh and joke,and from time to time smile.but at the end of the day,i question whether i'm happy or just content with this so-called lifestyle i live.i'm beyond shallow and 2shits past rude,but the thing is nobody bitches to me about my attitude.so i've created this facad that the way i act is alright.but deep down i know it's not,it's just the easier way out.see for most people,it's harder for them to be mean than nice.for me,it's way easier to be mean than nice.that's ass backwards but the only way i know how to live.the varying times in which i am nice,people seem to get a tad bit scared or worried for lack of a better phrase.like i'm coniving to get something or i'm really sick.sad part is those are some of the only times i'm nice...so i'm confused or whether i'm actually happy or content with bullshit?

Bee Outtie.
=].